


Who This Heart Beats For

by pocketsquid



Series: Meet Me [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games), The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: (for first chapter), (for second chapter), Accidental Bonding, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mass Displacement, Size Difference, Spark Play, Spark Sexual Interfacing (Transformers), Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Spark Bonds, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsquid/pseuds/pocketsquid
Summary: Now that Drift and Terra have clearly expressed their love for each other, Drift is ready to take their relationship to the next level. He had no idea they could move beyond sparkplay but somehow, they're more compatible than either of them realized.(This takes place immediately after the epilogue ofMeet Me in the Middle of the Nightand refers to that fic frequently, so please read that first if you haven't yet.)
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock/Terra (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Meet Me [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891117
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Drift shows Terra his spark, and it goes over much better than he was expecting.
> 
> Yes, I refer to the "pieces of spark being placed in Decepticon badges" as being a real actual thing the cons used to do rather than a silly Autobot rumor. To me it seems like something Deadlock would do to prove his worth. Also, I reject the little canon tidbit that Cybertronians have to rule out being Conjunx before they can become Amica with someone because I don't like it. Drift and Roddy did not do that before they became Amica because romantic and platonic love are equally important and are not always steps up or down from each other.

"Thank you for planning all of this," Terra said. "It was really thoughtful of you, and I had a wonderful time."

They stepped out into the cool night air, taking a moment to reorient themselves and remember where Drift had parked his alt mode. It wasn't too far away thankfully, and Terra grasped Drift's hand, pulling it gently to lead them both in the right direction.

Drift beamed up at him, squeezing his hand and falling into step beside him. "You're welcome. I'm happy that you enjoyed our evening."

"I did!" Terra confirmed happily as he picked up their joined hands, kissing Drift's knuckles. "And... I love you."

Drift's smile widened at the words, as well as the tenderness in Terra's gaze. "I love you too," he said quietly, leaning his head against his partner's shoulder.

Though it felt like they had said it at least a dozen times that evening, the phrase was still fresh enough that it made warmth blossom in Drift's chest. He knew that if he was in his bot mode, his spark would be churning wildly in his chassis, butting up against his armor as it reached for Terra. It had already done so once this evening, and he was certain that it would happen as soon as he was holding Terra up to his frame again.

The thought reminded Drift of his original plans for after their date: to reveal his spark as he confessed his own feelings. Possibly followed by some gentle lovemaking or a rather awkward talk, depending on how Terra felt about Drift.

At this point, his love for Terra had already been revealed and clearly reciprocated, so he didn't really need to go through with the whole sharing his spark thing - he could skip over it entirely and get right to the good stuff if he wanted.

But, it was more than feeling like he _needed_ to do it. After months of thinking it over, he was certain that he really wanted to. It was a very intimate experience: the expression of vulnerability to one's partner was an undeniable sign of trust and, in this case, love. To Drift, _that_ was the good stuff.

Despite how much he truly wanted to do it, he was still a little hesitant. He would obviously have to talk to Terra about it first, make sure he was on board with it as well. Drift knew little about spark-related activities, but he had heard that they were linked closely to interfacing, and Terra had yet to see Drift's Cybertronian frame in such a way. It might be too weird for Terra, which is something Drift had been worrying about since Terra first laid eyes on his true form well over a year ago.

Drift sighed softly, pushing his doubts away for now. He wondered what Terra's reaction could be in the best case scenario, actually agreeing and wanting to see Drift's spark.

His mind provided him with the image of Terra crouched in his palm, bathed completely in the light of his spark and... Well. That was rather nice.

A soft blush rose to his cheeks at the thought. He gnawed at his bottom lip, gently pushing away the brief hint of desire in the pit of his stomach.

As their walk continued, Terra gave his hand a gentle squeeze and Drift's imagination gobbled the sensation up, morphing the fantasy somewhat. Now, he pictured Terra hovering carefully over his mass displaced form, face and chest illuminated only by the bright blue glow of his spark. One of Terra's hands cradled Drift's own while the other thumbed the edge of his spark chamber, clearly _itching_ to touch but holding back --

Drift sucked in a sharp breath, the flush on his face intensifying and running down his neck. The knot in his stomach twisted eagerly, making him lean away from Terra's shoulder to cover his face with his free hand.

That was... a lot.

"You okay?" Terra asked, immediately halting his steps.

Drift nodded, falling to a stop beside him. "Yeah. Sorry, just, umm, thinking about something," he said through his fingers, moving his hand away and shaking his head a few times, as though it would make the blush go away faster.

His eyes shyly darted up toward Terra, who took in his flustered state with a raised brow. A small smile hinted at the corners of his mouth.

"I'd ask for clarification, but I get the feeling it's not something you want to talk about in public," Terra teased.

Drift's blush returned full-force, despite the fact that it was late and there was hardly anyone there to overhear their conversation. "It's _not_ what you're thinking," he said, and Terra shot him a knowing look. "Really! It's not that! You know I don't get embarrassed about those things..."

Terra nodded. "Yeah, exactly. Which means it must really be _something_ to get you so flustered."

Drift shook his head again, noticing his alt mode off in the distance. He tugged at Terra's hand gently to get them moving toward it again.

"I mean. Maybe? It's just... I was thinking about something else that I wanted to do tonight. Later. When we get back to my habsuite...?" he said softly, looking up at Terra with bright, hopeful eyes.

The confusion returned to Terra's expression, but it quickly morphed into a small smile and he nodded. "Yeah, of course. Whatever you want," he agreed.

Perhaps it was a little unfair to make Terra decide before even explaining what he was talking about, but Drift's mind was a little tangled up at the moment. "I'll tell you more when we get there," he promised.

Once they reached their destination, Drift stepped back from Terra to deactivate his holoform, but Terra held his hand firmly, pulling Drift toward him again to bring their lips together tenderly.

Drift shuddered at the unexpected kiss, his free hand fisting in Terra's shirt. Although it was brief, it was enough to have his head spinning by the time they parted for air again.

He blinked up at Terra, who gave him a small smile. "I love you," Terra said softly, releasing his grip on Drift's fingers.

Drift returned the smile, letting go of Terra's shirt. "Love you too, Terra," he replied, giving him one more peck on the cheek before switching the holoform off.

Terra waited patiently for Drift's Cybertronian form to reawaken and transform. Within a few minutes, Drift was kneeling down in front of Terra, hand outstretched in the silent offer to pick him up.

"My, my. What a gentleman," Terra remarked as he settled onto Drift's palm.

"Of course. Only the best for you, darling," Drift replied, pulling Terra close to his chest as he stood up.

Terra reached out, patting the metal of Drift's chassis. The careful brush of those fingers was more like a tickle than anything, but it was enough to make his spark swirl about with interest.

A flush ran up his faceplates again at the reminder of what he wanted to do, and he was thankful that Terra didn't seem to notice this time.

Once they boarded the Lost Light, Drift carried Terra to his habsuite. The walk was quiet, with Terra deep in thought as he tried to decipher what could be coming next. Drift was too busy forcing his expression to appear neutral to find anything to chat about, not wanting to betray his intentions to anyone passing by them.

Drift's eagerness and anticipation might have shown in his hurried pace, however - the longer he held Terra up to his frame, the harder he found it was to keep his chestplates closed. Thankfully, it only took a few minutes for them to reach his habsuite, and he quickly stepped in, locking the door behind them.

Letting out a huge vent of relief, Drift hastily sat down on the edge of his berth. He peered down at his hands, heat rising to his cheeks once more as his partner regarded him with a raised brow.

"Alright, what's up?" Terra asked, reaching forward to place his hand on Drift's chassis again, as though he could read Drift's mind.

One of Drift's fans stuttered to life and he blushed harder, his optics darting away from Terra. The touch was meant to be grounding, reassuring, but Drift found it to be almost too much.

"Drift?"

All hints of teasing in Terra's tone were long gone, replaced entirely by confusion. Taking a deep vent, Drift looked back down at Terra again.

"I wanted to show you my spark," he blurted out.

Terra's eyes went wide, his own face flushing brightly as he recalled the touchy subject. He huffed out a soft laugh, eyes darting down to the hand he had braced against Drift.

"...Oh." He blinked a few times, looking back up to meet Drift's eyes again. "Are you sure?"

Terra waited for Drift to nod before he continued.

"You're not... This isn't just because I said I love you, right? You don't have to if you don't want to, I know it's a big deal for your kind...!"

"No! No, it's nothing like that," Drift said reassuringly, reaching up to stroke Terra's chest with a fingertip. "Well, not exactly. I've been planning this for a couple of months now, actually. I..." he smiled softly, optics darting away. "That was how I was going to tell you how I felt."

His gaze found Terra's again and he continued. "I'm glad it didn't come to that, because it's kind of scary for me as it is, hidden feelings or not," he admitted. "But I love you, and I trust you. That's why I want to do it."

Terra blinked a few times, lips twisted in a thoughtful frown as he milled over Drift's words. "You're... scared? Why?"

Drift shrugged a shoulder. "I dunno. Not scared, exactly, just... nervous. I've only ever willingly shown someone my spark twice. One time it..." he frowned, shaking his head. His tanks churned with unease as the memories resurfaced, and he fought them down quickly. "Well. One time it went great, the other time, not so much."

A long, thoughtful pause followed Drift's words before Terra spoke up again. "May I ask what happened?"

"Hmmm... which time?" Drift asked, wincing at his rather obvious attempt to dodge the discussion.

Terra tilted his head. "Both. If you want to share, that is...?"

Drift nodded. "You're going to see it anyway, so better to explain it now rather than when I'm... vulnerable," he said softly. "The first time... I did so to show my loyalty. To Megatron, to his cause. The most devoted Decepticons proved their dedication by having a small piece of their spark removed, fused into their brand. They put me under during the procedure, but it was still rather painful afterward."

He moved his free hand to dig around in his subspace, removing the old, scratched up Decepticon badge and holding it out in his palm for Terra to look at. "It looks like any other brand, of course. I don't know if they actually even put my spark in here, honestly, but... I've always kept it just in case," he admitted.

Terra ran his fingers over the metal badge thoughtfully, remaining quiet for a long moment.

"I'm... sorry that you went through that. Especially for a cause you no longer believe in," he said.

Drift merely shrugged a shoulder. "It was all I had at the time," he explained. "It doesn't hurt anymore or anything, it's just... imperfect."

Terra raised a brow at him. "Imperfect? I highly doubt that," he said with a grin, moving his hands back into his lap. "And... what about the other time?"

This pulled a soft smile out of Drift, and he put the Decepticon badge back in his subspace before answering easily. "The other time was with Rodimus. It was nerve racking too, but overall a much better experience."

Terra's eyes widened. " _Rodimus?_ " he asked incredulously. "I... I thought you two were just friends...?"

"Oh! Yeah, we are," Drift reassured him, returning his finger to pet along Terra's chest again. "Rodimus is my amica, which is kind of like... a best friend?" he frowned, not really finding that to be an adequate description. "I suppose it's like you and Aqua and Ven. I have friends, and then I have Rodimus. It's... _different_ , but still platonic. We don't go past friendly cuddling."

"Oh," Terra said, sagging in relief and placing his hand over the center of his chest. "I thought for a second that I'd missed something important. Okay. That makes more sense."

Drift shook his head. "No, I should have explained that part first! I forgot that humans tend to choose romantic life partners more often than platonic ones. Sorry about that," he said with an apologetic smile.

"Anyway, part of the tradition is to share sparks - that is, reveal them to each other. It's all very... symbolic," he explained. "We didn't merge them, or touch them or anything like that. That's more of a... romantic couple thing. I've never done anything like that."

Terra nodded in understanding, wrapping his arms around Drift's finger. He looked up at Drift for a long moment, searching his optics for something as he thought over the information he'd been given. Drift let him think for as long as he needed, wanting him to make his own decision.

After a few minutes, he nodded, reaching forward to press one hand along Drift's chestplates once more. "Well, if you're sure you want to do this, then I want to do it too."

Drift smiled, picking Terra up so he could nuzzle against his front. Terra laughed, patting Drift's cheeks affectionately, and Drift planted a soft kiss over his chest before he pulled away again.

"Great! I'm glad to hear that. Although..." Drift looked away. "If it's too... weird, too alien for you and you change your mind, that's okay too. I understand."

Terra shook his head, giving Drift a small smile. "I really don't think you have to worry about that, but if it comes up, you'll be the first to know."

Uncertainty swirled around in his tanks despite Terra's reassurances, though he tried his best to shove it aside. Terra was no pushover - he was always very upfront about what he did and did not like, so there was really no reason to worry about him lying for Drift's sake.

"Well, in that case, I suppose I better get comfortable then," Drift said with a shaky smile.

He did just that, scooting around until his back hit the wall at the head of his berth. It was a little tricky with a human balanced in one servo, but he managed.

Once he was settled, he moved his hand forward, bringing Terra a bit closer to his chest. Terra settled down comfortably on his palm, smiling patiently up at him. Despite saying he was ready a few minutes ago, Drift found that he was a bit hesitant, his doubts returning now that it was time to actually do something. 

"You okay?" Terra asked softly.

Drift took a moment to consider the question before answering. "Yeah. Just a little nervous I guess..." he admitted. "You've never, umm... We've never... outside of my holoform, we haven't..." he raised his free hand to hold his helm, attempting to sort out his scrambled thoughts.

"I think I get it," Terra said, and Drift looked down to see that he was smiling. "Don't worry about that - unless you have like, some sort of freaky tentacles or something, I think it'll be just fine. Even then, if you do have freaky tentacles, I suppose I could learn to --"

"No! There are absolutely _no_ tentacles anywhere, I promise," Drift said, his face scrunching up in distaste.

Terra chuckled at his reaction. "Then don't worry about it. It'll be different of course, but... it's still _you_. And, in case you forgot, I love you. That includes you as giant robot too."

He reached forward, placing his hand on Drift's chassis. Warmth blossomed behind the plating, and Drift let out a quiet laugh.

"Thank you. I love you too," Drift said, finally feeling some of the tension bleed from his frame. "I think I'm... ready. Or at least more ready."

"Alright," Terra said softly. "Take your time. I have nowhere I would rather be."

He smiled, reaching forward with his other hand to run his fingers along the smooth metal of Drift's armor. His hands, which were rather large for a human, barely registered on Drift's sensornet as they slid along his plating. Drift's spark didn't really seem to care, though - it thrummed beneath the surface, tracing along the bottom edge of its chamber impatiently, straining to get to Terra.

"It's... reaching for you," Drift said. "You can't tell from the outside, but I can definitely feel it."

"Reaching...?" Terra asked, his eyes widening with interest. He pressed a little firmer down on Drift's chest, and Drift bit back a soft sound. He pulled Terra away from his chest, making him frown and open his mouth, likely to ask what was wrong.

With those tiny fingers now far away from any transformation seams, Drift allowed his chestplates to part, the soft clicks and hisses drawing Terra's attention.

Terra sat there quietly, his eyes locked on Drift's chassis. It only took a moment for the plating to slide apart, for which Drift was thankful. For a split second he had considered overriding the command and sealing his spark away again, but now that it was done...

His fantasy from earlier was almost a joke. Sure, he still wished that he was small enough to be able to reach out and hold on to Terra, but they could do that at another time. If Terra wanted to, of course.

Right now, seeing Terra sitting there, bathed in the bright glow of his spark? The way he looked at it, with so much wonder and adoration in his eyes, as though it was the loveliest thing he had ever seen?

It struck something _deep_ within Drift.

He was still very nervous, of course, but now the desire from before had returned to the pit of his tanks, making itself well known alongside his nerves.

Terra blinked slowly as he took in the sight of it, seeming almost hypnotized by the bright swirling light, unable to tear his eyes away for a long moment. But, he finally did, looking back up at Drift again with a fond smile on his face.

"Sorry, I just... I've never seen anything like it," he said, bringing a hand to rest over the center of his own chest. "I don't know what to say that isn't cheesy."

Drift huffed out a soft laugh. "Say it anyway. I want to hear it," he told Terra, his own curiosity getting the better of him.

Terra swallowed, glancing down at Drift's spark again. "It's... incredible. Like, easily the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he said sincerely, peeking up at Drift from beneath his eyelashes. "Although, the sight of you all blissed out after a long night together comes pretty darn close."

"Terra... Not fair!" Drift whined, feeling his spark throb hotly. He quickly threw his free hand over his flushing cheeks, though he could do little about hiding his spark now.

"Hey, you said you wanted to hear it," Terra reminded him with a chuckle. He looked at Drift's spark for another long moment before speaking up again.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I love your spark so much, since it's part of you and all."

Drift groaned, his processor anxiously alerting him that his frame temperature was too high, that the threat of overheating might be in his near future. His fans clattered to life to try and dispel some of the warmth, and he peeked down at Terra through his fingers.

Terra was looking at his spark with a raised brow, squinting against the light as the glow became brighter and the color began to shift. "It's turning kind of white... What does that mean?" he asked.

"I'm just really flustered," Drift replied, his voice shakier than he would have liked. "I can't imagine why that would be."

"Ah. Well, I can keep going, if you'd like?" Terra offered, grinning up at him.

"No, that's okay. I think you've said quite enough."

"You sure? I mean, you are absolutely adorable when you're embarrassed."

Drift blushed again. " _No_ , it's really fine, I promise," he said, and he felt his spark twist again at the teasing compliment.

Terra laughed softly, glancing down to watch the dancing tendrils once more. His amused grin turned soft and adoring after a moment, and Drift saw his fingers fidgeting in his lap.

"Do you... want to touch it?" Drift asked, bringing Terra closer to his spark chamber. It wasn't quite the fantasy he had conjured up earlier, but he figured it would still feel pretty good with the size difference.

Terra's smile dropped, and he regarded Drift seriously. "You mean it?"

Drift shrugged a shoulder. "Yeah, why not? Just, umm, be gentle. Like, really gentle. It's super sensitive."

"It is kind of your life force and all, so I'm not surprised, honestly... Just let me know if I hurt you, okay?" Terra asked.

He waited for Drift to nod before he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the outer edge of Drift's spark chamber to get a closer look.

"It's really warm in here," he said after a long, quiet moment, and Drift _felt_ the ghost of his breath along his spark. It pulsed wildly, a few tendrils of light unfurling toward Terra's face, and he leaned back a bit to look up at Drift again. "Wow, you weren't joking about the whole reaching for me thing, were you?"

Drift shook his head, not trusting his voice to speak. He chewed on his bottom lip, his entire frame tensed in anticipation of what was to come next.

"You okay?" Terra asked him.

Drift nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Drift nodded again, more rapidly, struggling to find his words for a moment. "I, umm, it's just... _so much_?"

Terra's eyes widened. "I didn't even touch you... Did I?"

"No," Drift replied, covering his face with his servo. "You... breathed on it."

An awkward silence followed Drift's words, and self-consciousness slowly began eating away at him. As Drift opened his mouth to... say something, to apologize for how _weird_ this all was, he felt the lightest touch brushing against the edge of his spark, gentle and curious.

The tendrils wrapped around Terra's finger with a similar curiosity, stroking along the length of it as though it were a novelty of some sort. It couldn't have been more than just the tip of a finger, but it felt like... like...

Drift didn't know what it felt like, exactly, but there was definitely _a lot_ of it.

Those inquisitive tendrils hooked around Terra's knuckles, tugging gently in an attempt to get more. Terra let out a soft gasp at the sensation, allowing his hand to move a little bit further. His hand twitched in surprise as Drift's spark moved further upward, curling eagerly around his palm and pulling once more.

Drift's servo flew down from his face at the feeling, clutching the side of his berth hard enough to leave dents. Terra startled at the sudden sound and movement, stilling his hand instantly and looking up at Drift with wide eyes. Drift felt his engine stall in anticipation as he waited for Terra to move again, taking a few shaky vents.

"It's _really_ sensitive, huh?" Terra asked.

"Oh, yeah," Drift replied. He cleared the static from his voice, or at least most of it, before speaking again. "Feels... nice, though. Just keep going slow."

Terra nodded, though he let Drift adjust for a little longer before he eased his hand further into the light. While Drift wanted more, he wasn't about to complain about Terra taking his time - every tiny sliver of Terra's skin that came into contact with his spark amped up his charge tremendously.

Drift's head thudded back into the wall behind him, likely leaving a dent, though he hardly cared about such things. He sucked in a breath, his fingers squeezing where they held the side of his berth.

More of Drift's spark unfurled, closing around Terra's hand and pulling, encouraging him to move again before Drift could. His engine stuttered to life again at the feeling, and he cried out as Terra's fingers curled in the most wonderful way.

" _Ahhh_ , Terra, that feels, it feels...!"

Drift had no intention of actually finishing his sentence, far too absorbed in feeling what Terra was doing. He hadn't even really registered his own comment until Terra prompted him to continue.

"How does it feel, Drift? Talk to me," Terra said, the smooth timbre of his voice sending shivers up Drift's struts.

Drift vented orally, though it did little to clear his thoughts. "It feels... really, really good," he decided. He couldn't think straight for long enough to be more articulate, though Terra didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, I can believe that," he said warmly, daring to wiggle his fingers ever so slightly. "What does it feel like?"

"I can't, I don't know how to, how to say it," Drift replied, trying very hard not to squirm under Terra's touch. "Very... intense."

Terra hummed thoughtfully. "Do you want more?"

Drift nodded enthusiastically.

"No, tell me with your words. I want to hear it."

Drift whined, but happily did as he was asked. "Please, Terra, just a little more," he begged. He onlined his optics, which had become shuttered tightly at some point, and looked down at his partner desperately.

At first glance, Terra appeared to be unaffected, which made sense, all things considered. However, upon closer inspection, Drift spotted a familiar bulge in his pants, and he let out a soft noise. The sight went straight to Drift's interface equipment, the searing panels sliding open in an instant.

Terra grinned up at him, pushing his hand just a bit further into Drift's spark. "How's this?" he asked softly.

Drift cried out in response, his whole frame clattering noisily against the berth as sensation overtook him. He hadn't realized he was so close to overload already, but he couldn't find it in himself to be too embarrassed about it. Especially not with Terra looking at him like _that_ \- his pupils were blown wide with lust, but his gaze was still warm and adoring, the tenderness in his eyes only pushing Drift closer to the edge.

"Good! Oh, it's so good," Drift whined, his hips bucking up into nothing. "Terra, _please_ , I'm right there...!"

Terra crooked his fingers, one at a time, oh so very slowly. "Go on, then. Don't hold back."

It only took a few more seconds for Drift to reach his overload, scorching hot pleasure running through his frame like a wildfire. Drift could faintly sense that he was shouting, screaming even - he smelled the components of his vocalizer overheating, and it wasn't until the unit burned out entirely that Drift realized that he probably should have silenced it.

Without the sound of his voice, the quiet around them was broken with his whirring fans and trembling frame. He felt the tendrils of his spark gripping onto Terra's hand like a lifeline, petting and smoothing along his skin almost possessively. Terra gasped at the feeling, though he thankfully held relatively still until Drift's overload was finished.

Terra carefully removed his hand from Drift's spark, the sensation a bit uncomfortable with how oversensitive Drift's frame was. Once those little fingers were free, Drift shut his chestplates, blinking down at his partner as his frame cooled down with quiet ticks and pings.

Drift opened his mouth to speak, but his vocalizer was pretty much destroyed, making an awkward croaking sound. He laughed as he sat up, though it was mostly a wheeze.

"Are you okay?" Terra asked worriedly.

Drift nodded. He removed his hand from the side of his berth, ignoring the huge dent he had made in the soft metal to tap gently at his throat. He attempted to speak, cringing as his intake parts ground together noisily, the burnt smell making itself known once more.

Terra's eyes went huge once he figured out what Drift was trying to tell him. "...you can't talk?"

Drift nodded again.

" _Oh_. Uhh... it's not permanent, right?"

Drift shook his head, and Terra let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry..." Terra mumbled. "I didn't realize how intense it was, intense enough to... break your voice."

Drift waved his free servo nonchalantly. Of course Terra would feel bad and apologize for giving him the most amazing overload of his life - he'd be sure to let him know just how good it felt when he was physically capable of doing so, either with his words or his hands.

Sitting up a little more, Drift set Terra down on the side of his berth and reached into his subspace for a towel, wiping gingerly at the mess between his legs. He could feel Terra watching him, and a glance down confirmed his suspicion.

He quirked his eyebrow at Terra, who blushed brightly when he was caught staring.

"I... you have a very lovely, uhh," he gestured vaguely at Drift's interface array.

Drift felt his own faceplates flush at the comment, but he inclined his head in thanks anyway, turning back to the task at hand. It wasn't the ideal cleanup, but at least his plating wouldn't stick to itself.

"I still can't believe I broke you. I'm sorry," Terra said.

Drift shrugged a shoulder, clearing his vocalizer a bit. "It will repair itself, don't worry," he whispered, voice still full of clicks and static.

Even whispering hurt, and Drift held his neck cables with a wince.

Once he was somewhat clean, Drift glanced down at Terra, noting that his fingers were fisted in the fabric of his pants. He still appeared to be quite aroused, and Drift frowned, wondering how they could continue.

He would just ask Terra what he wanted, but... it was a little hard without a voice to ask with.

He reached down, planting a single fingertip on Terra's chest. Terra blinked up at him, tilting his head in confusion.

Drift allowed his finger to trail down the broad chest, nestling comfortably against the bulge in Terra's pants. Terra hissed, his eyes squeezing shut before he reached down to grab Drift's finger.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me," he said. "I can take care of that."

Drift snorted, drawing Terra's attention again. He cocked a brow, giving Terra a questioning look.

"Yes, I'm sure. You're probably tired, aren't you?"

Drift shook his helm, smiling down at Terra, though he moved his finger away in case Terra actually did want to stop.

Terra swallowed, a soft blush rising to his cheeks as he gripped Drift's finger, pulling it back to hold close to his chest. "I... well, what do you want to do then?"

Drift contemplated their options for a moment. With his free hand, he gestured toward his mouth, shrugging a shoulder, then gestured toward his interface array.

Terra's gaze darted back down to Drift's spike, his flush intensifying. "I... that's... a little large, don't you think?"

Drift snorted. He placed a hand on his chest, then moved it away to make a pinching motion with his fingers, looking helplessly at Terra in hopes that he would understand.

Terra squinted. "You can change size...?" he ventured.

Drift nodded with a bright smile. He cleared his intake gently before he attempted to speak one last time.

"Or we can do our usual," he whispered. It still hurt, and he decided that was the last of the talking until his vocalizer repaired itself.

Terra considered it for a moment, eventually tugging on Drift's finger, pushing it downward so it rested in his lap again. "Is it ok... like this?" he asked shyly. "I, umm... don't think I'll last long enough to fully appreciate your... equipment."

Drift blushed brightly at the words, drawing a fond smile from Terra.

"Yeah, that's right. I want to take my sweet time and give your robot self all the love it deserves," Terra said warmly. "Your pointy ears, your hips, your spark, everything! Just... Another time, when I'm not so wound up."

Drift's spark fluttered at the thought of being given so much genuine attention. And here he had been worried that Terra wouldn't like him like this - clearly, he had been making a big deal out of things that weren't even remotely a problem.

With a nod, he pulled his servo away, unfolding his fingers so Terra could climb onto his hand again. Terra didn't hesitate for a moment, quickly scrambling onto the offered palm.

Drift lifted Terra up so he could actually see what he was doing, using his free hand to pinch at Terra's clothes, hoping that Terra got the hint.

Thankfully, his request was heard loud and clear, and Terra undressed himself in what had to be a record-breaking time. Once the clothing was out of the way, Drift was running his digits down the soft skin, engine purring in delight at the way Terra leaned into the touch. He felt his interface array twitch with interest once more, but he paid it no mind, completely satisfied with his overload from earlier.

With a grin, Drift pulled his hand away to lick a few long, wet stripes up his thumb. Terra let out a choked-off groan, his eyes tracking the movement intently.

" _Drift_ ," Terra whined, as though he were helpless, like he didn't have two perfectly functioning hands he could use at this very moment. "Come on, don't tease me like that."

He hadn't meant to tease... well, maybe a little bit. But, now that Drift was satisfied that there was enough oral lubricant to ease the way, he extracted the digit from his mouth, placing the pad of his thumb over Terra's erection.

Terra sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes squeezing shut as he began to grind against Drift's fingertip. He seemed perfectly content with the feeling of it, if the eager rolling of his hips or the soft groans he made were anything to go by.

Drift observed him closely, his fans clicking on at the sight and sounds before him. There was no way he'd be ready to go again before Terra finished, but he couldn't deny the heat that tingled in his lines as he watched.

One of Terra's eyes peeked open, the bright blush traveling further down his chest at the intensity of Drift's gaze. He let out a soft huff, reaching down to stroke along Drift's thumb.

"This doing somethin' for ya?" Terra teased breathlessly.

Drift nodded, biting his bottom lip as warmth rushed to his face. He angled his fingertip a bit, thoroughly enjoying the soft, pleased moan he drew from his partner.

Terra grinned, closing his eyes again. "Good. I'm enjoying it too."

While he was happy that his thumb seemed to be adequate, Drift found that he desperately wanted to help Terra along. He wanted nothing more than to talk him through it, to touch him, to _taste_ him - simple actions that he hadn't realized he loved so much until he was unable to really do any of them.

Well... He could probably use his mouth at this size, but he figured he better ask beforehand. It was bound to be messy, and he didn't want to gross Terra out.

He filed the idea away in the back of his mind, keeping his optics locked on his partner for now. Despite how much he longed to be closer, Drift was content to watch and memorize Terra's sinuous movements, encouraging him with a warm grin and the eager rumble of his engine. It didn't take long for Terra to come undone, gripping onto Drift's thumb tightly as his whole body tensed. Drift held still, waiting patiently until Terra was finished and laying down in his servo with a happy sigh.

Drift pulled Terra up to his chassis, holding him close as he crawled off of the berth to head toward the human sized bed in the corner of his room, making sure to pick up Terra's underwear so he had something to sleep in.

As he was carried across the room, Terra laid tiny kisses along Drift's armor, and Drift couldn't help the fond smile that rose to his faceplates. The way his spark surged in his chassis made it a bit difficult to pull Terra away, but he had to do so in order to put him down.

After quickly parking his altmode and reactivating his holoform, Drift headed over to Terra's side, making sure to strip down to his own underwear before climbing into bed. As soon as he was under the covers, Drift felt Terra's strong, sturdy arms wrap around him, pulling him close. Drift eagerly curled into the warmth of his chest, all but melting when Terra's hands ran along his back and sides.

"Thank you," Drift said against Terra's neck. "Thank you for everything tonight. I hope it was... okay for you."

Terra pulled back, beaming down at Drift. "I had a _wonderful_ time, Drift. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Drift's eyes widened at the words, as well as the unexpected eagerness in Terra's voice. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah!" Terra assured him, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. "It was a little unfair to you, since you missed out on the big show and all, but if you could have seen yourself... yeah. I would do it again right now if you asked me to."

Heat rushed to Drift's cheeks, and he moved to hide his face in Terra's chest again. Terra couldn't have gotten much out of the experience, really - surely not enough to be this eager to repeat it.

"Terra, please. Don't be absurd," he grumbled.

"I'm not!" Terra insisted, wedging a hand under Drift's chin so their eyes could meet once more. "You showed me your _spark_ , Drift. Even if seeing it didn't involve getting you off - what does your kind call it again?"

"Overloading?"

"Yeah, even without the overload, it was incredible. It was reaching out to me, and I swear I could almost... feel it," Terra said, cradling Drift's cheeks carefully. "And looking at it was like... looking at a star, except it was so much more... beautiful than any star I've ever seen. Because it was a part of you."

Drift fought to keep his gaze locked on Terra as he listened to his words, struggling against the onslaught of emotions that bubbled up in his chest. His spark was far from beautiful and he knew it - the jagged scar was a cold, brutal reminder of who he used to be, not that he'd ever allow himself to forget - but the conviction in Terra's voice made it clear that he was speaking truthfully. That he wasn't just _saying_ things to make Drift feel better.

After a moment, Drift's vision began to blur, and he felt something warm and wet slide down his cheeks. Terra wiped the tears away with his thumbs, pulling Drift close once more to cocoon him in warmth and safety. Drift melted into the touch, sniffling loudly.

"I... I don't know what to say," Drift mumbled against Terra's skin, squeezing his eyes shut in a vain attempt to stop the tears, or at least slow them down.

Terra squeezed Drift a little tighter, leaving little kisses all over the top of his head. "You're fine," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overwhelm you, I just... I _meant_ what I said earlier. I love you, Drift, all of you. I wish there was a way I could show you _my_ heart so you could understand..."

He sighed quietly, wrapping his arms around Terra as best as he could in this position. He turned his head, pressing his ear against Terra's chest to seek out the strong, steady _thump-thump_ of his heartbeat. Drift knew this wasn't the heart that Terra was talking about, but it was as close as he could get, so he enjoyed every second he was able to listen to it.

"I love you too," Drift said after a few minutes, not caring much for how sticky his voice had become. He cleared his throat and tried again. "And... while I appreciate the sentiment, you don't have to show me anything. I can see it, feel it... I know it's there."

Drift moved a hand to swipe at his eyes, happy to note that the tears had finally stopped - although the tightness in his head had only worsened. He sighed, sniffling again, though it only made his head ache more.

"Does crying always feel this terrible?" he asked.

Terra let out a soft laugh, stroking Drift's cheek. "Yes and no," he said. "It takes a while for the stuffy feeling to go away, but... you usually feel a lot better once it does."

Drift hummed at the explanation, finding some truth in it as they held each other close. Aside from his head being all achy and stuffy, he did seem to feel almost... lighter. Enough to finally start to relax, even - it wasn't long before he was fighting to keep his eyes open, and he wondered if Terra was getting sleepy as well.

"Terra?" he whispered.

"Hmmm?" 

"I love you," Drift said with a smile, even though Terra couldn't see him. "Thank you again, for everything. I hope you sleep well."

"Love you too, Drift," Terra mumbled tiredly, his voice muffled by Drift's hair. "G'night."

And with that, Drift succumbed to his exhaustion, falling into one of the most satisfying and restful nights of sleep he'd ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I like making pretty boys cry. Don't @ me


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terra gets to have a much closer look at Drift's spark this time thanks to a happy accident. 
> 
> NOTE: There are some moments of unreality/depersonalization and anxiety due to the nature of weird alien soul bonds.

Terra was thankful that he and Drift had gotten so many opportunities to meet up. It had only been a month or so since the Lost Light entered this sector of space, and they'd somehow managed to coordinate one date per week, which was far more frequent than either of them had been expecting.

Honestly, it probably helped that their best friends were dating, and Rodimus wanted to stay as close to Aqua as he could now that the crew's quest was over. But, regardless of why or how it was possible, Terra and Drift eagerly took advantage of the ship's close proximity to spend time together.

Tonight they were having a movie date in Drift's habsuite, complete play pooo! snacks, blankets, and comfy pajamas - well, Terra was wearing comfy pajamas, anyway. Drift was sprawled out on his berth in his root mode, helm propped against the wall behind him. He had his datapad resting on one bent leg, making it easier for Terra to see it from where he was curled up on Drift's chassis.

Oddly enough, the movie hadn't been chosen by Drift or Terra - _Swerve_ of all people insisted that this was the perfect film for a date. Drift happily accepted the recommendation, having attended shipwide movie nights in the past and trusting his friend's taste in media. Terra hadn't thought to bring anything to watch, so he agreed that this would probably be fine.

Unfortunately, the longer it went on, the more Terra wondered if Swerve had given them the wrong one by accident. No offense to the friendly minibot, but this was easily one of the most boring movies Terra had ever seen. He had tried to give it a good twenty minutes of his attention, but after zoning out for the third time, he decided that maybe this one just wasn't for him.

Terra wiggled around in the blanket he had wrapped around him, pulling his arms free so he could sit up a little, though he was careful not to get in Drift's line of sight in case he was actually watching the movie. His eyes wandered away from the screen and found something much more interesting to look at, tracing over what he could see of Drift's hips and stomach.

Even in the dim light, the plating along Drift's abdomen was quite lovely. The bold red and black and white panels feathered over each other in such an intriguing way, drawing Terra's eye up Drift's sides and right to the headlights resting along either side of his chassis.

One of Terra's hands reached over, idly stroking one of the little round lights. He kept his touch light as he circled the smooth glass, wanting to keep his hands busy more than draw any sort of reaction from Drift. His hand trailed a little higher after a moment, fingers dipping under the edge of Drift's hood. He couldn't reach too far under the lip of the plating from where he was laying, so Terra moved his exploration elsewhere, fingers ghosting over the glossy, freshly-waxed plating.

He hadn't realized that Drift's engine was idling so roughly until a cooling fan clattered to life near him, startling him a bit. He turned his gaze upward to see Drift's glowing optics locked on him, watching him with an indecipherable expression.

"Sorry," Terra said, heat rushing to his face as he attempted to pull his arms back into his blanket cocoon. He hadn't meant to make Drift uncomfortable, really, but maybe he should have just kept his hands to himself.

Drift blinked at him, shaking his head. "You're fine," he said quietly. His gaze softened as he looked at Terra, lipplates curling in amusement. "I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one bored to tears by this movie."

Terra laughed lightly, rolling over and sitting up so he could look at Drift more easily. "No, trust me, you're not alone there. Kinda reminds me of the last time we tried to watch a movie together," he said.

Drift quirked a brow at that. "Hmmm... well, if I recall correctly, there _was_ something interesting that happened in the middle of that one." He reached up to tap his chin thoughtfully as he remembered that evening - though, Terra had no idea what he could be talking about. That movie was easily just as bad as the one they were attempting to watch now.

After a moment, Drift's whole expression lit up in recognition. "Ah, that's right! I think we started kissing and it got a _lot_ more interesting," he said, his smile morphing into a smirk.

A surprised chuckle made its way out of Terra. "Oh yeah, I remember that part now," he agreed with a grin of his own, unrolling his blanket and crawling closer to Drift's face. He pressed his lips to the corner of Drift's mouth when he reached it, sighing at the reminder that Drift couldn't return his affection. "I can't kiss you very well like this, though."

Drift hummed, moving his datapad off of his lap and switching it off. His smirk fell away and he gave Terra that look again, and Terra still couldn't figure out what it meant, even when he was sitting this close.

"What's up?" he asked softly, moving back a few feet so they could see each other more easily.

Drift didn't answer immediately, optics darting away for a moment before returning to focus on him. "Ah, nothing. Just... thinking about something," he said, his brows pinching.

Terra had a feeling that he wasn't finished, so he remained quiet, merely offering a nod and a reassuring smile to let Drift know he was listening.

"Do you remember last weekend?" Drift asked after a moment, his voice quiet and guarded, almost shy.

Did he... did he _remember_ last weekend? How could Terra ever _forget_?

"You're gonna have to be a little more specific," Terra said with a chuckle. "Do you mean the part where I romantically blurted out my love for you, or the amazing date, or getting to see your beautiful spark _after_ the amazing date, or --"

Drift huffed out an amused vent, the rush of air ruffling Terra's hair a little bit. "I, well... Ok. That's fair. A lot did happen," he said, allowing a smile of his own again. "I meant after you saw my spark, you said something. Something about... being interested in me like this? But... smaller?"

Terra's smile widened at the almost bashful clarification. Ever since Drift had casually mentioned that he was "fully functional" well over a year ago, Terra struggled to understand what that could even mean. For months he stared at Drift's frame through his phone screen, wondering if they were compatible in any way outside of using Drift's holoform. The fact that his partner was so _huge_ always made it seem impossible, and Terra had come to accept that it simply wasn't an option beyond a stray fantasy, which was perfectly fine. They were both very satisfied with the more intimate aspect of their relationship.

The drastic size difference did little to dissuade Terra's attraction to the bot, though - and now that he knew that that was no longer an obstacle, he was itching to get his hands on Drift's sleek, shiny frame.

"Of course I remember that. I still mean it, too - you're absolutely gorgeous, Drift." He crawled forward again, tracing his fingers down one of the red streaks painted below Drift's optics, and he felt the plating heat beneath his hand. "If that's what you want, I would be more than happy to give it a try."

Drift's optics shuttered, and he leaned carefully into Terra's palm before onlining them again. "Well, alright," he said softly, moving a servo to cup around Terra. "Lemme sit up, and I guess we can figure out what we want to do."

It took Terra a few tries to convince Drift to move from his metal berth over to the little human-sized bed in the corner, but he knew it would be the best choice. He didn't care all that much if the covers were torn, or stained, or whatever other excuse Drift came up with. It would be unfortunate to ruin a perfectly good set of sheets, but he wanted them both to be comfortable, which was all but impossible if they did this on the floor or Drift's recharge slab.

They eventually made it over to Terra's bed, and Drift placed him on it before sitting cross-legged on the floor. Terra watched him shutter his optics, sitting very still like he was meditating, clearly focused on... something. They both remained quiet until Terra realized that Drift was slowly and steadily becoming smaller.

"Huh. That's interesting,"Terra said, his brows raising at the sight of his partner shrinking.

"Hmm?" Drift hummed in response, not moving in the slightest as he continued to concentrate.

"I thought it'd be an all-at-once sort of deal. This is pretty neat," Terra said. "How small can you get?"

Drift's brows scrunched up a bit, optics still shuttered. "Smaller than my holoform, if I tried really hard," he said. "I'm not gonna do that though. It's apparently exhausting enough to be human sized."

Terra nodded. "Makes sense. How long can you stay small?"

"Probably about an hour or two?" Drift guessed. "I've never really done this before, so I don't know."

"Awwww." Terra pouted, though Drift couldn't see him. "Only an hour or two? How am I supposed to get _anything_ done in an hour or two?"

It was an honest question! Terra had a lot of plans for what he wanted to do with Drift. Things that, until last weekend, he thought were impossible, and he swore he wouldn't rest until he'd had a chance to spoil his partner rotten with all of the love and affection that he deserved.

Color rushed to Drift's faceplates again, his servos tightening where they gripped the armor on his knees. "Terra, please... I'm trying to focus," he grumbled.

"Alright, alright..." Terra chuckled, opting to remain quiet and save the rest of the playful teasing for later.

It only took Drift another minute or so to finish changing size, and then he was walking through the doorway of Terra's little room, looking down at his servos in wonder. "This is... kind of weird," he said, his steps halting just shy of where Terra was sitting.

Terra stood, a bit surprised to see that they were nearly the same height for once - not including those big, pointy finials of course. Drift was also more bulky than his holoform with all of his armor and kibble, but Terra didn't mind that at all.

Drift had yet to look up from his servos, clearly avoiding eye contact as Terra checked him out.

"Are you alright?" Terra asked him, reaching forward to grasp his hands.

Drift startled a bit at the touch, reluctantly meeting Terra's eyes. "Yeah, uhh... I think so," he replied, his optics darting back down to their joined hands. "Just trying not to overthink this too much."

Terra smiled, releasing one of Drift's hands to grasp his chin, pulling gently until their eyes met again. "If you need a distraction, I'd be happy to help," he said, running his thumb over Drift's bottom lip.

A bright flush rose to Drift's cheeks, and he cleared his intake softly. "Yes, _please_ ," he breathed, his optics darting between Terra's lips and his eyes.

With a grin, Terra let go of his chin, cupping the side of his face instead as he carefully brought their lips together. Drift shuddered at the contact, one of his cooling fans booting on within seconds of their mouths touching. Terra smiled so wide that, for a moment, he couldn't really do much kissing. Drift didn't seem to mind, his hands moving to grasp Terra's biceps to gently hold on to him - though his grip was very clearly restrained.

This kiss was a little different from what Terra was used to. Drift's mouth wasn't nearly as soft as his holoform's, for one thing, and he also tasted much more metallic (for obvious reasons). Terra could occasionally feel Drift's glossa poking through, a strange, new texture that he hadn't expected, though it was hardly unwelcome.

It took a little time to adjust to, but in the end, Terra found that he didn't dislike it - quite the opposite, really. It was a bit different, but it was still definitely Drift kissing him back the way he always did.

Terra had to pull back eventually to breathe, and when he did, he was pleased to note the hot flush running up to Drift's finials. He felt his heart melting when Drift's bright, beautiful optics onlined again, regarding him almost shyly.

How was he so _unbelievably cute_?

With a smile, Terra leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Drift and nuzzling against the side of his face. "God, I love you so much," he murmured, leaving tiny kisses along one boxy cheek vent.

Drift laughed quietly, his servos reaching around Terra's back in return. "Aww... I love you too, sweetspark."

Terra took a long moment to enjoy the feeling of Drift in his arms, then pulled back with a smile. "Would you like to sit down?" he asked, nodding toward the bed behind him.

Drift frowned, eyeing the bed as though it presented some sort of danger. "You... go ahead," he said. "I have to figure out how to do this carefully --"

Terra barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course Drift was still worried about ruining the sheets.

As Drift babbled about how he wasn't built for organic bedding, Terra leaned over, wrapping one arm under the bot's knees and the other behind his shoulders. In one smooth motion, he scooped Drift up into his arms, effectively ending the stalling then and there.

"Oh!" Drift squeaked, grabbing Terra's shoulders in surprise as his feet left the floor.

Drift was a _lot_ heavier like this, there was no doubt about it, though Terra wasn't necessarily struggling with the weight. Drift was also rather pointy, but Terra could easily ignore the way the plating dug into his skin.

Looking down to see Drift's flushed face and hearing the rough, flustered rumble of his engine was well worth any potential scrapes or soreness, Terra decided.

With a grin, he left a soft kiss on the center of Drift's forehead and turned to place him onto the middle of the bed. Once Drift was seated, Terra crawled to kneel in front of him, settling between his spread thighs.

"There, now. That wasn't so bad was it?" Terra teased, grinning when he saw the small pout on Drift's face.

"I _guess_ not," Drift mumbled, his frown melting away when he met Terra's eyes.

Terra chuckled, his hands automatically reaching toward Drift's face. He ran his thumbs over Drift's cheeks, eyes darting up to the big pointy finials that adorned his helm. There was so much he wanted to touch, but those had been calling out to him since day one.

"May I touch your ears?" he asked, his palms stroking over Drift's cheeks.

Drift nodded, giving Terra a small smile. "Of course. They're quite sensitive though, so don't get too wild or anything."

Terra nodded in understanding. Carefully, he trailed his hand up Drift's face, fingers ghosting over the edge of one finial.

It was apparently a little too gentle, as Drift pressed his helm into Terra's palm, prompting him to stroke a little more firmly. Terra obeyed the silent request, gently grasping the smooth metal between his fingertips, though his touch was still careful as it explored the plating.

The response was immediate, Drift's optics shuttering and his entire frame going slack at the touch. Terra quietly panicked for a split second, wondering if he'd been too rough, but then Drift's helm was nudging insistently into his palm again, engine rumbling loudly with contentment. Drift was nothing short of blissful, his struts practically turning to goo at such a simple touch, pressing further and further into Terra's fingers.

He stroked Drift's cheek with his free hand, watching the spectacle with an affectionate smile. It was easily one of the cutest things Terra had _ever_ seen, and he decided that he wouldn't mind doing this for the rest of the evening if Drift wanted to.

After a few more minutes of the gentle petting, one of Drift's optics opened slowly, his focus hazy and warm as he peered at Terra. A soft, serene smile graced his lips before he pulled his helm out of Terra's grasp and righted himself. He hummed happily, leaning into Terra's space and fixing him with a sensuous look that made his stomach twist into knots.

"Holy shit, you're _gorgeous_ ," Terra breathed out, blushing when he realized he had voiced his thought aloud.

Drift's smile softened at the words, a light flush rising to his cheeks too. "Well, so are you," he replied.

The static-laced sincerity in Drift's voice made Terra's face burn even hotter. He swallowed loudly when Drift's servo landed on his chest, pushing gently until he was laying down. Once he was settled against the pillows, Drift crawled over him, leaning down to kiss him again.

As Drift's fingers traced over his sides and shoulders, Terra eagerly wound his arms around Drift's back, pulling him as close as he could. Terra's heart leapt, longing almost desperately for Drift as their chests pressed firmly together.

Terra's lips stilled for a moment as he took in the odd sensation. His heart had done something similar last weekend when he was all but crawling around in Drift's spark chamber, and it was just as confusing then. Clearly, it wanted Drift in some manner, as it only reacted this way when he was in such close proximity to Drift's spark, but Terra couldn't figure out _what_ exactly it wanted.

Briefly, he wondered if he should ask Aqua about it. Nobody else he knew had such a similar point of reference, but that was something to ponder over at another time. He was a little _busy_ right now.

Drift pulled back with a breathy, questioning sound, bringing Terra back to the present. "What's up?" he mumbled dazedly.

Terra hummed, shaking his head. "It's nothin'," he decided, leaning up to press a soft kiss to the corner of Drift's mouth. "I thought I... felt something, but I think it was just my love for you."

Drift rolled his optics, but the telltale blush on his faceplates returned. "Wow, Terra. That was unbelievably corny."

"Oh, don't act like you didn't like it. I know you're into that sappy stuff." He smiled warmly, bumping his nose against Drift's. "It's cute."

"I do like it," Drift grumbled, sending him a playful glare. "And I know _you_ like it too, big guy, so don't even pretend like you don't."

"Alright, you got me," Terra conceded with a laugh, holding his hands up defensively before letting them trail over Drift's frame. One hand cupped Drift's side, fingers ghosting over the bold red and white plating there. "Now then... what would you like to do?" he asked softly.

Drift blinked, considering his question for a long moment. "I... don't know," he said with a small shrug. "What would you like?"

Terra shot him a knowing look. "You really haven't thought about this? _At all_?"

Drift's optics darted away, the blush on his face growing considerably brighter. "Well... maybe a little bit," he admitted with a small voice.

"Mhmmm," Terra nodded, angling his head until Drift turned toward him again. "So what have you thought about?"

"Umm... a lot of things," Drift said with a frown, his optics shuttering for a moment as he thought it over. "I just don't know how much of it will be... mutually enjoyable."

Terra snorted. "Awww, don't worry about that, Drift," he said, leaning up to give his partner a little kiss. "I'd be just fine with holding you close and scratching your ears for the next hour if that's what you wanted."

Drift gave a small laugh at that, some of the awkward shyness finally leaving his frame. "Well, alright then. Next time we get to do what you want, though."

"Fair enough," Terra agreed, even though he knew Drift of the future was going to be exasperated with Terra of the future's plans to spoil him rotten. "Let's hear what you want for tonight, then," he prompted.

"Okay. Switch places with me," Drift said. Once Terra was situated over his frame, Drift continued quietly. "I kind of... wanted to show you my spark again."

Terra's heartbeat quickened at the thought, his eyes darting down to Drift's chassis on instinct before moving back up to meet his optics.

"You... you do?" he asked. He was admittedly a bit surprised that he'd get to see it again so soon.

"Yeah," Drift said, giving Terra a small, shy smile. "It just feels... right. It's been _really_ active since you got here, especially when you get close to me."

Warmth bloomed in Terra's chest at the admission, and he couldn't help the soft, adoring smile that rose to his lips. While he now knew that Drift's spark was mobile in a sense, constantly twirling and moving around, Terra was still kind of amazed that it seemed to reach for him so much.

"Hmmm... Maybe it was _your_ love for _me_ that I was feeling earlier," Terra teased gently, cupping one of Drift's cheeks.

The plating warmed under his touch. "Maybe it was! I do love you an awful lot," Drift agreed with a grin. "I... kind of want you to touch it? It might be... difficult at this size, since your hands are so, umm, _big_ , but..."

Terra nodded, understanding that in this case, Drift's life would literally be in his hands, and snuffing out that spark was the last thing he wanted to do. "That's just fine by me. If it's too much for you, I'll keep my big ol' hands to myself. Until afterwards, of course," he said, shooting Drift a wink.

Drift barked out a surprised laugh at that, and he shook his head. "We both know that's not necessary, but you're going to do it anyway, aren't you?" he asked mostly to himself before nudging at Terra's chest. "Here, lean back a little bit."

Terra did so, and the familiar sound of muffled clicks drew his attention downward, his gaze landing on Drift's chassis just in time to see the plating start to fold away. The vibrant glow spilled through the first available gap of armor, and Terra felt his heart racing in eager anticipation.

In a matter of moments the plating was tucked away completely, and Terra was once again treated to the sight of Drift's spark - just as bright and breathtaking as it had been last time.

"Wow," he whispered, taking in the sight of it all over again, as though he'd never seen it before.

Terra didn't know how long he sat there, utterly captivated by the swirling orb of light. It was more incredible than he remembered, even with the jagged chunk missing on one side - though, Terra personally found that the scar made Drift's spark more beautiful.

More than anything, he wanted to reach forward and become familiar with those tiny, clingy tendrils again, but Drift hadn't given him the go-ahead yet, so he happily settled for watching them instead. They didn't seem to get the memo, uncoiling and reaching toward him eagerly, and he couldn't deny the way his heart yearned for Drift in that moment.

"Okay," Drift said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You can, umm, go for it? I guess?"

"Alright," Terra said just as quietly, watching Drift take a steadying vent and draw his bottom lip between his dentae. "Let me know if it gets to be too much."

He waited for Drift to nod before he turned his attention downward once more.

Terra reached up to cup the side of Drift's chassis, thumbing gently over one of his headlights. He smiled when Drift squirmed, letting out a light, static-laced sound, and he allowed his hand to move a little closer to its destination.

He took his time to stroke and tease the metal that surrounded Drift's spark chamber, giving some attention to the dull grey plating that was usually hidden behind Drift's hood. It didn't seem to be particularly sensitive, so he probably didn't really need to touch it, but he didn't feel comfortable just... going in to grab at Drift's spark.

When Terra made it to the edge of the spark chamber, he paused, watching the tendrils stretch out toward his hand. It was just as strange as it was endearing - they'd reached for him last weekend, sure, but this was a whole new level of yearning.

"T-Terra?" Drift asked in a small voice, the almost fearful tone instantly catching Terra's attention and yanking it away from the spark.

He looked up to see Drift watching him intently, brows drawn together and face twisted into a frown. It was then that Terra noticed how hard Drift was trembling, enough to make his plating rattle against itself. His servos clung to Terra's shoulders, as though he was holding on for dear life.

Worry and guilt twisted in Terra's gut, but he pushed that aside for now. "Hey, you're okay," he said softly, reaching to cup Drift's cheek. "It's alright. Do you wanna stop?"

Drift dragged in an unsteady vent, his optics darting away as he thought it over for a long, quiet moment. Terra waited patiently, eyes locked on his partner's face until he eventually shook his head.

"I... don't know," Drift mumbled. He cleared his intake before trying to speak again, but his voice was still so tiny, so unsure, and it nearly broke Terra's heart. "It's just... _really_ intense. Like, straining for you. I don't understand...?"

Terra frowned, glancing down at the tendrils again. They were still reaching for him, twisting and curling around each other almost desperately as they sought out some sort of contact. "Should I... move away?"

" _No_." The blunt fingertips tightened against Terra's shoulders, holding him firmly in place and drawing his attention upward again. "Please don't go. I don't... want you to leave," Drift said.

"Alright. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," Terra reassured him with a warm smile, pulling himself a little closer to the shivering frame and bringing them face-to-face. His heart swelled when his chest bumped against Drift's, the urge to soothe and protect his partner nearly overwhelming him. "It's okay. I'm right here."

Drift looked up at him, his optics almost _too_ bright. Terra leaned down, laying tiny little kisses all over Drift's face, then moved to pry one shaking servo from his shoulder so he could hold it tightly. 

"Thank you," Drift murmured, taking a deep vent that helped the trembles subside quite a bit. "I love you."

"Love you too," Terra replied with a tender smile, grasping Drift's other servo so he could hold it too.

Once Drift seemed to be settling down, Terra fully intended to ask him once more if he wanted to stop, or do something else. But, before he could speak, he felt something... odd.

Between them, Drift's spark tickled the center of Terra's chest, the tendrils licking against him with the barest of touches. It made some sense, considering how closely they were pressed to each other, but it was still a bit unexpected. 

As unusual as it was, Terra took a moment to enjoy the feeling. It was warm and soothing, like pulling on a well-worn shirt, or drinking a hot beverage to keep out a chill. He figured it'd feel even better against his bare chest, but he didn't feel like leaning back and removing his shirt to find out.

He was comfortable - well, more than that, really. For some reason, laying here chest to chest with Drift just felt _right_.

His heart seemed equally as content with this turn of events. The intense yearning had finally melted away, and Terra couldn't help but wonder if this is what it wanted all along - to just be closer to Drift's spark - though he couldn't imagine why.

Before he could ponder the thought any further, his heart started to hum, giving him only the briefest warning before it... surged outward? He wasn't sure what was happening exactly, but it felt as though it were trying to leave his body and settle in Drift's spark chamber instead.

This would have been fine, really, if the space wasn't currently occupied.

Terra sucked in a surprised breath when something enveloped his heart with a firm, almost challenging grip, sending a bolt of fear through him - what the hell was _that_?

He wanted to pull away to try and see what was happening, but Drift's servos held him firm. Terra's eyes snapped open, struggling to focus on Drift's equally confused gaze. Whatever was happening, Drift was right there with him, feeling it too.

The world around them slowly faded away as they stared at each other, both focused intently on what was happening between them. Terra wanted to open his mouth, to say something, _anything_ , but the longer he sat there the more sluggish and disoriented he felt, as if he was being pulled underwater. It was hard to even breathe, an incredible weight bearing down on him. Too much, it was _too much_ \--

And then, in an instant, the grip around his heart loosened. Terra took a relieved breath as it quickly pulled away, and the sudden, invisible pressure lifted off of him. Now he almost felt weightless - he was still quite disoriented, but he could kind of tell which way was up at least.

The slightest hint of guilt brushed along Terra's heart, stroking carefully before it morphed into something more along the lines of curiosity. It was a nice change, but Terra still frowned at the feeling - gentle or not, it wasn't coming from him. He was far from curious right now, feeling much more confused and, admittedly, still kind of scared.

Though, now that it had lightened up a little, Terra swore it felt almost _familiar_. He knew that touch, that presence all too well, but...

His eyes half-focused on his partner again, and he realized that, if it wasn't his own curiosity he was feeling, then that had to be... Drift?

Terra's heart fluttered at the realization, reaching forward tentatively to meet the touch.

_Of course_ that was Drift - the vibrant burst of delight at being recognized could mean little else.

It was then that the tiny remainder of Terra's panic washed away - now that he knew what had grabbed at him in such a manner, he wasn't as afraid anymore.

He... trusted Drift.

He was still very unsure about what was happening, but he now understood that Drift was likely just as confused and startled by the sudden presence of Terra's heart. Though _how_ Drift could feel it, exactly, Terra didn't know.

Perhaps he should ask?

His gaze sought his partner out, though it took a considerable amount of time to actually see him. Drift's optics were onlined but unfocused, mostly staring through Terra. He was still lost in... whatever was going on.

"What's... happening?" Terra breathed once his mouth and brain decided to cooperate.

Drift's optics slowly found Terra's face, and then he was smiling tenderly, giving Terra's hands a shaky squeeze. "I think we accidentally... merged," he replied, words slurring as though he had just woken up.

"Merged?"

Drift nodded slowly. "Mhmmm... Sharing one spark, between two frames," he murmured.

Before Terra could point out the obvious fact that he didn't _have_ a spark, Drift let out a soft chuckle and spoke again.

"Or, well... one heart, I guess," he amended, his spark cradling around Terra's heart fondly.

Warmth flooded through Terra at the words, starting at their joined chests and slowly radiating out to his limbs. He couldn't fight back the shudder that ran over him, wanting to chase the sensation, but it was gone before he could really do much with it.

Terra vaguely recalled Drift mentioning something about spark merges last weekend. He was telling Terra about prior experiences he'd had with his spark, and was trying to explain the difference between romantic and platonic couples. Terra wished that he'd asked for a little more detail about this sort of thing now that it was evidently happening, but Drift said he'd never done it before, so he probably didn't know too much about it anyway.

It seemed that they would be figuring this out together. Which... made it a lot less scary, actually. 

And, it was strange: now that he sort of understood what was going on, Terra could almost _feel_ each little tendril of Drift's spark clinging to him. Though he couldn't really tell if it was a physical sensation or something else connecting the two of them. Something more spiritual, perhaps?

It mattered very little. At the realization that it was Drift's spark, his very being that was holding him in such a way, Terra found himself opening his heart to his partner without any more hesitation. Drift's spark tangled with it eagerly, more of that pleasant warmth tingling between their chests.

A happy little hum fell from Drift's vocalizer, his optics shuttering as heart and spark meshed together. Affection swirled in Terra's chest at the quiet reaction, which seemed to draw another soft sound from Drift. Warm contentment flowed through Terra's body, though it seemed to be coming mostly from Drift's end.

Terra wondered briefly if that was just a Cybertronian thing, or if the emotional nature of their connection went both ways. It seemed that Drift could detect him in some manner, so perhaps it wasn't entirely one-sided?

"Can you... feel me?" Terra asked quietly.

"Mhmm," Drift said, squeezing gently around Terra's heart again. "You're right there."

Terra smiled and shook his head. "No, I mean, can you _feel_ me?"

He looked at Drift, his smile widening when Drift's eyes met his. His heart swelled happily when Drift's helm tilted, absolutely endearing in his confusion. Terra focused on the sense of adoration he felt, quickly pushing it toward Drift in hopes that he would get a taste.

The response was immediate - Drift arched upward, pressing his chest insistently against Terra's with a soft moan. This of course only made the love in Terra grow stronger, and he made no effort to hide it. It grew and grew, and before long, Drift was trembling beneath him, squeezing his hands hard enough to make them ache.

Drift hummed happily, his head tilting back. "Oh, _that's...!_ "

"Hmmm?" Terra prompted, easing up on what he was doing so Drift could have a chance to respond.

Drift swallowed, squirming around a little before answering. "It's... good. Very good."

With a grin, Terra leaned down to leave a few clumsy kisses along Drift's neck. It was a little awkward, as he was still figuring out how to navigate through and around the merge, but he found he just couldn't resist when Drift was so gorgeous.

Drift's engine stuttered loudly, as though he could _feel_ the compliment. Terra's smile widened at the bright burst of bashfulness coming from Drift's end of the connection.

"You're so cute," Terra murmured, leaning back to gaze lovingly at him.

"Ugh... and you're ridiculous," Drift mumbled, energon rushing to his cheeks and tinting them that lovely shade of pink once more.

"Maybe I am," Terra said with a light laugh, "but I mean it."

"I know you do. I can... feel it," Drift said with a smile of his own. "Though... I want _you_ to have a chance to feel it, too."

"Alright," Terra agreed with a smile, his eyes slipping shut. "Lay it on me, then."

"Oh, I will."

And with that, Drift's hands reluctantly released his. They began to wander over Terra's sides and back, the touch gentle and reverent. He eagerly fed Terra little morsels through the merge - a little affection here, some desire there, all laced with trust and gratitude. Each tender, loving thought that coursed through their little bond sent a pleasant warmth blooming in Terra's chest, and he couldn't fight back the wide smile that rose to his lips.

"You were right," Terra murmured, "this is nice."

"Good. I'm glad you're enjoying it."

He continued to pass little snippets of love and affection through the merge for the next few minutes, and Terra carefully accepted each one, his heart swelling with joy every time.

It wasn't until a sense of doubt had begun to creep in that Terra realized Drift must have been deep in thought. He frowned, opening his eyes and resting a hand on his partner's shoulder, effectively capturing his attention.

"You okay?" he asked,

A slight hint of guilt swirled through the merge, but it was pushed aside. "Yeah, sorry. Just... thinking. Too much, if you could feel it too," Drift grumbled.

Terra huffed out a laugh, hands moving to cup Drift's face. "It's okay," he said, leaving a soft kiss on Drift's cheek before pulling away to look him in the optics. "But, I'm always here to listen, if you want to talk about it."

A small smile found it's way onto Drift's face, though it fell rather quickly.

"Thank you. It's not a big deal or anything, I'm probably just overthinking things..." Drift heaved a shaky sigh, looking away to gather his thoughts for a moment.

"It's just... I don't know. Sometimes, this doesn't feel real? Like... I can't believe that, out of all the people you've ever met, you..." Drift sighed again, and Terra felt his spark quivering, anxious and vulnerable. When he spoke again, his voice shook, making the words a bit difficult to understand. "You picked me?"

If Cybertronians could cry, Terra was certain that at least a few tears would be slipping out of Drift's optics. As it was, he could do little more than hold on and _feel_ as the emotions began to bubble up in his chassis. They were strong enough that Terra could clearly sense them, even though Drift was doing his best to keep them from slipping through the merge.

Terra frowned, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat, and he moved to cradle Drift's face. When those gorgeous optics met his eyes, he reached through the merge, surrounding Drift's shivering spark with a soothing warmth that helped to ease some of the chaotic sensations bouncing around inside of him.

"Of course it's real," he said, his own voice a little thicker than usual. He swallowed again, though it didn't wash away any of the emotion. "And of course I picked _you_. Remember last weekend, when... I said I loved you? How I've loved you for a while?"

Drift nodded.

"Well, I meant it. Dating has been a new experience for me, but, with you? It always felt... good. It felt right," he explained softly, nuzzling against Drift's cheek and allowing more warmth to slip through the merge.

"Even right now, as I'm somehow defying our compatibility and participating in a cool alien bonding ritual... it feels so right," he said with a soft kiss to Drift's face. "I can't imagine being anywhere else. And I don't want to."

He squeezed around Drift's spark just a little tighter, stroking lovingly along the tendrils, just as he would if the spark was being held in the palm of his hand.

Drift shuddered at the sensation, wrapping his arms around Terra and pulling him close. His servos clutched at Terra's back, holding onto him as though he was worried that one of them would be swept away. He took a few deep vents, steadying himself before speaking up again.

"Thank you," Drift whispered, allowing a taste of his own feelings to trickle through the merge again. "I love you."

"Love you, too," Terra echoed, sighing happily.

Any remaining discomfort or vulnerability was washed away then, making more room for Drift's love toward Terra. It was bright and warm and tingly as it passed through Terra's chest, settling down to swirl around in the pit of his stomach.

A soft, pleased groan bubbled out of him, and he felt his heart leap forward in an attempt to feel even more of the addicting sensation.

This sudden action seemed to throw Drift off a little bit, the control he'd had over what he was passing along to Terra slipping away. There was only the slightest pulse of panic from Drift's end of the merge, making it clear that what was about to happen was completely unintentional.

Now without restraint, Drift's feelings surged outward. What was once a tiny, flickering flame of emotion had evolved into a blazing inferno in a matter of seconds, swirling around and building up in Terra faster than he could really comprehend. Drift scrambled to try and reign it all in, but it seemed to be difficult for him to regain control.

Now, it was Terra's turn to shudder under the sudden onslaught of emotions. He knew that Drift loved him, of course. He could see it in Drift's eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his touch - he had very little doubt in his mind about it being just as bright and beautiful as the love that he had for Drift.

But to _feel_ it? All of it, rushing toward him, snagging him like a riptide and threatening to pull him under?

It was nearly overwhelming.

Terra's chest tightened, the sharp sting in the back of his throat being the only warning of the sudden unshed tears that had begun to well up, threatening to spill over at any moment. He swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as he tried to fight them back, though it quickly became a losing battle.

Before he could really register that he was crying, the tears were slipping out far too fast for him to stop. A harsh shudder ran through him, and he quickly tucked his face against Drift's neck.

" _Drift,_ " he choked out, his throat so clogged with emotions that the sound barely registered as a word.

Terra squeezed his eyes shut, sucking in a few wet, ragged breaths. He hadn't realized how hard he was shaking until the arms Drift had wrapped around his back gave a firm, reassuring squeeze.

He was thankful to note that the love and affection that had accidentally boiled over was now being brought back to a simmer, giving him a chance to breathe and try to get a grip on himself.

"Are you okay?" Drift asked, voice and spark filled with concern. His digits stroked soothingly over Terra's back, helping to bring him back to reality a bit.

There was no way Terra could answer out loud, but... he supposed he was alright. He nodded, clutching tighter to Drift's frame and trying very hard to take calming breaths. He could feel his fingers digging into some sort of plating hard enough to warp it, but Drift didn't seem to mind aside from a slight twinge of discomfort. He merely held Terra close, grounding him with the steady hum of his engine, the warmth of his spark, and the careful touch of his servos.

Terra didn't know how long they sat there like that, but he was glad when his breathing eventually returned to something kind of normal. It was hard to get truly comfortable, as he was hot all over and his head ached, but he was happy to take what he could get.

He heaved a deep, shuddering sigh, finally loosening his hold on Drift's frame and allowing some of the tension to leave his body.

"Was that... too much?" Drift asked softly.

At first, the vagueness of Drift's question made it a little difficult to answer - and, the pressure in Terra's head from crying certainly wasn't helping. But, when a sense of uncertainty grew between them, tinted with regret and a touch of embarrassment, Terra realized that Drift must have been worried that he felt _too_ strongly.

If it hadn't been bothering Drift so much, Terra might have laughed. The thought of his love being too much to handle was a bit absurd, considering it was returned wholeheartedly.

" _No,_ " Terra managed to say, leaning back to look Drift in the optics. He reached up to gently cup his cheek, clearing some of the stickiness from his throat before continuing. "It's never too much. Just... a lot at one time." His heart brushed reassuringly against Drift's spark, soothing the fretting tendrils as best as he could. "I'm okay. It's okay."

Drift hummed, relief and understanding rushing between them, though a touch of the guilt remained. He let out a shaky vent, his optics darting away. "I'm sorry."

"No, none of that," Terra said with a small smile, leaning down to kiss Drift's face. "It was just... _wow_."

Drift went still beneath him as soon as that last word was out of his mouth, and Terra couldn't help but chuckle at the flash of embarrassment that returned to the merge.

"No, don't be embarrassed, Drift, it felt..." Terra hummed thoughtfully, stroking Drift's cheeks as he considered his next words. "Really good. A lot to take in all at once, but I... kind of want to feel it again."

Drift eyed him with disbelief. "Do you really?"

"Yeah, I do!" he assured Drift with a kiss to his cheek. "Though... maybe we should try to take it a little slower this time."

"Alright, if you're sure," Drift agreed, the remaining skepticism morphing into intrigue and curiosity. "Maybe we can... take turns?"

"Okay," Terra said, a grin rising to his lips. "I want to go first, though."

Drift raised a brow at him, his curiosity becoming much more palpable. "Oh? Something on your mind?" he asked with a small smile of his own.

"Yeah," Terra said, bringing his face close to Drift's and sending some affection his way. "I have you on my mind."

Drift rolled his eyes, but his smile widened when he looked up at Terra again. "Hmmm... you sure seem to think of me a lot."

"Can't imagine why," Terra said, an idea wiggling into his mind. "But... you think about _me_ a lot too. You've really spoiled me, Drift."

"Spoiled you? How so?" Drift asked, genuine confusion rising up from his end of the merge.

Terra laughed quietly, trailing his hand up the side of Drift's face and smoothing along the glossy paint. "You always go out of your way to make the little things perfect, just for me. Like..." he hummed, a fairly recent memory rising to the front of his mind. "Our date last weekend! How long did you plan that for?"

A light flush rose to Drift's cheeks, echoing the shy acceptance that had emerged between them. "I dunno, a few months?" he said with a shrug. "I... I didn't feel like I put a lot of thought into it, I just wanted to make sure you had a good time no matter how you felt about me."

" _Exactly_. That's my point exactly," Terra said, huffing out another laugh, allowing some of his love and appreciation to slip through the merge. "I was so... touched by how much thought you'd put into it, just hearing you talk about what we were going to do together... I dunno," he said, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he continued.

"I didn't _mean_ to tell you I loved you right then. I wanted to wait until the perfect moment, maybe... a moment like this?" He shook his head, his eyes softening as he gazed down at Drift. "But... you yanked the words right out of me. I never stood a chance."

Drift's optics widened in surprise, a small, almost bashful smile rising to his faceplates. "Really? I did that?"

Terra nodded. "Yeah, you did. I know you planned to woo me over the course of an entire afternoon, but you ended up taking care of that in a matter of minutes," he said with a grin of his own, allowing more love and gratitude to seep through the bond. "I really do appreciate all those little things you do for me, Drift. It... it means so much to me."

A shudder ran through Drift, and he let out one of his light, joyous laughs that warmed Terra's heart.

"Well, you deserve that much and more!" Drift said, his smile growing warm as he looked into Terra's eyes. "You're incredibly thoughtful too, you know."

"I... try my best," Terra said with a shrug. "You deserve it just as much. Though... what I do hardly compares to you --"

"Nonsense!" Drift said, leaning up to give Terra a tiny, soft kiss. "You've always been just as considerate and patient with me as I have tried to be with you!"

Terra wanted to believe it, as he did try very hard to be attentive of his partner's needs, so he nodded. "Well, thank you. I'm glad you think so," he managed to say.

Drift's smile turned knowing, and he shook his head. "I can tell you don't believe me. I can feel it, remember?"

A flush rose to Terra's cheeks at the reminder, and his eyes darted away. Even after all this time he'd spent with Drift, he wasn't quite sure how to handle these sorts of comments. He'd gotten better at saying a more convincing _thank you_ , but he clearly still needed to work on how he handled them internally.

A light touch to his cheek brought his eyes back to meet Drift's, which were soft and affectionate as they gazed at him.

"Terra," Drift began, "do you remember when you asked to see my spark, over that video chat?"

The blush on Terra's cheeks grew hotter. With a groan, he buried his face in Drift's neck in an attempt to hide it, but Drift could probably feel the mortification coming off of him in waves, spark merge or not.

"I'll take that as a yes," Drift murmured into his ear, voice just as full of amusement as his spark was.

"I still feel awful for doing that," Terra said. "I've _never_ seen you that uncomfortable, before or since then."

"It's okay, really. It was just a misunderstanding," Drift reassured him for what felt like the millionth time, his servos wrapping securely around Terra's shoulders to hold him close. "There's something I didn't tell you that happened during that conversation. It's... not bad, or even a big deal really, but perhaps you would like to know."

Terra leaned back a bit, looking into Drift's optics. He was expecting this to be a serious conversation, so he couldn't help the confusion that blossomed in his heart at the tender smile on Drift's face.

"I... wanted to do it," Drift admitted softly. "Right there, using the awful camera of my datapad so you could see it on your tiny phone screen --"

"Wait, really?" Terra asked. He detected no deceit coming from Drift, but considering how that conversation had gone, he was admittedly a little surprised.

"Yeah," Drift said. "Once I started to explain myself, I could tell you understood the... importance of what I was saying. You realized _why_ it was so sacred, so private to my kind. Do you remember what you said to me?"

Terra shook his head. "I remember apologizing. A lot."

Drift nodded, letting out a light laugh. "Yeah, you did! But you also said that I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to. You could have kept pushing, since... it wouldn't have really affected you either way, but you didn't," he explained, brows furrowing for a moment. "It was right then that I realized... I could trust you with something like that. And... that I wanted things between us to be that serious someday."

He huffed out a sigh, a light flush rising to his cheeks as he continued. "I felt it in my tanks, you know? I wanted to share that with you so badly. But I didn't know... if you were there yet. If _we_ were there yet. So I held on and waited, hoping for the best, and... well," his spark fluttered lovingly around Terra's heart, "here we are."

Terra sat in stunned silence for a long moment, absorbing the information he was just given. Drift waited patiently, servos wandering across his back and shoulders as Terra thought it over.

"I think I loved you back then," Terra admitted. "I definitely felt strongly about you, at least. It wasn't until..." he huffed out a laugh, "until Aqua and Rodimus started saying it in _every_ phone call. I swear she walked through the house while she was on the phone on purpose --"

Drift burst into surprised laughter at that, and he nodded his head rapidly a few times. "Yep, I remember that! Roddy was practically useless for that entire month, bless him..."

"Aqua wasn't faring much better. It was kind of ridiculous... in a cute way," Terra told him. "But, anyway - hearing her say it dozens of times really made me think about us, and where we were headed."

Drift hummed, reaching up to cradle Terra's cheek lovingly. "Yeah, I'm honestly surprised it took us as long as it did to get those words out."

"I... almost let it slip several times, honestly," Terra admitted, his cheeks flushing a bit. "Like... you remember when your gift came in the mail?"

Drift nodded, beaming up at him. "Of _course_ I do --"

"And, do you remember us talking about the pet names afterward?" Terra asked.

Drift's smile fell away, faceplates flushing brightly and the rest of his sentence turning into a humiliated groan. He reached up to cover his face, though it did little to hide the pink tinge rising up his finials.

"What about it?" Drift asked, voice muffled by his palm.

Terra gently peeled the hand away, waiting for Drift's gaze to meet his before he spoke again. "I almost said it, that night. That I loved you."

" _What?_ I highly doubt that," Drift said, doing his best to reign in his own self-consciousness. "I appreciate that you took it in stride, but..."

"No, really! It was cute, Drift, why are you so embarrassed?" he asked. "Once again, you took something small and made it really special. I thought it was sweet."

Drift shook his head, the embarrassment growing more and more apparent despite Terra's reassurances. Terra barely resisted the urge to coo at his partner - Drift was so, _so_ cute when he was this flustered, and it was pretty easy to draw this kind of reaction out of him.

He did little to hide his affection and amusement within their bond, and that only served to fan the flames of Drift's embarrassment.

"You're adorable," Terra told him matter-of-factly.

Before he could have a chance to protest, Terra leaned down for a gentle kiss, hoping it would help to calm some of Drift's discomfort.

It seemed to work - a shiver coursed through Drift's frame and he sighed into Terra's mouth, his embarrassment melting away in a matter of moments. His servos moved to hold Terra close, rubbing along his shoulders through the fabric of his shirt.

After a long moment, Terra pulled away to catch his breath, and he gazed fondly down at Drift, who was fixing him with a stern look.

"Terra... I love kissing you, but I don't appreciate your timing very much," Drift said, voice light and filled with static. "I didn't even get the chance to return the compliment --"

"Ah, no." Terra blushed, and he shoved away his own embarrassment before Drift could sense it. "You don't need to --"

"Of course I do! Have you ever seen yourself? It's the truth --"

"Drift, please --"

The rest of Terra's sentence was cut off with another kiss, though this one wasn't nearly as soft or sweet as the last one had been. Honestly, it took all he had just to keep up, hands gripping the firm tires on Drift's shoulders so he could hold on to _something_.

One of Drift's cooling fans booted on between them, making Terra acutely aware of how damp with sweat his clothes had become over the course of the evening. Drift didn't seem to care, running his servos over Terra's back and kissing him hungrily.

It was nearly impossible for Terra to pull away so he could breathe, and once he did, Drift's eager mouth didn't stray far. He nuzzled against the side of Terra's face, kissing and nipping at his ear.

"Not very nice, is it?" Drift asked against his skin.

It was Terra's turn to shudder, a new kind of warmth rushing down his spine as he fought to catch his breath. "No, it isn't," he agreed, pulling away so their eyes could meet. "But you're still wrong."

Drift hummed thoughtfully, one servo moving to cradle Terra's cheek. He gave Terra a long, thorough once-over, those smoldering optics taking their sweet time to wander over every inch of his face, and it was all Terra could do to not writhe under the close scrutiny. Drift betrayed nothing on his end of the merge, but Terra was trying so hard to manage the sudden burst of _need_ in his loins that he probably wouldn't have noticed anything else.

Terra managed to hold relatively still, but he couldn't fight the way his face grew hotter and hotter as the seconds ticked by. He swallowed loudly, the sound making Drift break his stern facade with a wide grin. Soft adoration rushed toward Terra, adding to the warmth churning in the pit of his stomach.

He did his best to shove _that_ aside - now did not seem like the right time for such feelings, though... with the way Drift was looking at him, he wondered if he'd actually be able to keep them at bay.

"Hmmm, what do you know, I was right all along," Drift murmured fondly. "You're the gorgeous one."

Terra huffed out a laugh at that, rolling his eyes. "I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this one," he said.

"Probably," Drift said. "We've been arguing over this since day one - do you remember that?"

Terra's heart leapt at the reminder of their first few kisses, all those months ago on the beach. "Of course I do. That was when I discovered how easy it is to make you blush," he teased. "There's no way I'd ever be able to forget that."

Drift merely raised a brow at him. "You know, it's interesting that you brought that up. All I had to do was ask if I could sit on your lap and you lit up like a neon sign."

Naturally, such a comment made Terra's face heat up again, and he smiled down at his partner. "Yeah, well... if I remember right, it only took a few little kisses for _you_ to get just as flustered. And that works just as well on you now."

And wasn't _that_ a sight to behold.

Seeing Drift after he was kissed silly was one of the few things that got Terra going in a matter of moments - his chest heaving as he caught his breath, silky white hair tugged free from his ponytail, face flushed right up to the tips of his ears... Just a hint of what might come if Terra chose to kiss him again.

What came next was even better, of course. Absolutely nothing compared to seeing Drift thoroughly enjoying himself, no matter how he was being pleasured.

Before Terra could get too caught up in his imagination, Drift's spark flared, gripping his heart with a new kind of interest and bringing him back to the present.

"Well, well, well..." Drift murmured, coiling eagerly around the bloom of desire that Terra had failed to hold back. "What are you thinking about over there?"

It seemed as though Terra had unknowingly dragged his partner along for the ride during his reminiscing. The feeling now trickling through the merge wasn't anything like the soft, warm affection or tingly embarrassment Drift had been supplying all night. This was was a totally unique sensation, bright and hot and clinging to Terra in a wonderful way.

Terra wondered if his own arousal felt the same for Drift, warming up his already sweltering frame from the inside out. He gazed into those lovely optics, noting how they were taking on a familiar white hue. Clearly he was enjoying himself - Terra had learned the weekend before that the shift in color was one of the many signs of the charge running through Drift's frame.

Terra leaned down, bringing their faces as close as he could without kissing Drift again. "I'm thinking about you, of course," Terra answered with a grin.

Drift's engine stuttered loudly, like he was _surprised_ by Terra's response. His arms wound around Terra's back, servos clutching at his shoulders.

Terra tilted his head, giving Drift a light, teasing kiss before continuing. "Thinking about you, that day on the beach... I wonder how much further we could have gotten if that rainstorm hadn't happened?"

He allowed his own reaction to the memory to slip through, the intense heat burning in him now matching Drift's desire with ease. Drift moaned softly, his back arching in an attempt to somehow bring their chests closer together.

"Now, wait a minute," Drift said, his voice laced with static. "I may not have been able to resist a kiss --"

"Oh? Is that how it happened, you just couldn't resist?" Terra teased, raising a brow in amusement. 

Another wave of warmth rushed between them and Drift huffed out a laugh. "Well, yeah... I thought I would be able to hold out at least another day, but kicking your ass really did me in," he replied with a smirk.

Before Terra could point out that Drift hadn't _kicked his ass_ , but had in fact won by just a hair, Drift was talking again.

"Sparring usually doesn't get me going, but with the right partner? Oh boy," he said. His optics softened, tracing over Terra's face as he recalled that day. "Just seeing you all sweaty was almost too much for me, but actually being that close to you? Straddling your waist and pinning you down with my own two hands? _Primus_ , how could I do anything but kiss you?"

As Drift spoke, another burst of need ignited between them, growing warmer with each word. Terra could do little more than marvel at it, never realizing just how badly Drift had wanted him in that moment until now.

It certainly made him feel better about his own want - Drift tried very hard to keep things moving slowly after discovering Terra's inexperience, and it was admittedly quite difficult for Terra to keep such a pace at the time.

"It... wasn't all that different for me. I was ready to see where it ended up," Terra admitted. "Though... it seemed fate had other plans."

Drift hummed. "Fate, and me. As I was trying to say, I fully intended to take you out on at least _one_ date before we did anything else."

Terra smiled. "I appreciate it, considering everything that happened, though..." he let out a dreamy sigh, voice dipping a little lower, "at the time I wouldn't have minded the little changing tent either."

Drift squirmed, his searing interface panels rubbing against Terra in the most wonderful way and making them both gasp. "I'm pretty... pretty sure we would have gotten in trouble," he breathed out.

The grip he had around Terra's heart tightened, encouraging him to keep talking, keep _feeling_. It wasn't much of a challenge, really - even without the merge, Drift could practically play him like an instrument, making him come undone in no time at all.

"Definitely," Terra agreed. "But seeing you so wound up after just a few kisses? Mmmm, you were absolutely gorgeous..."

Though, if he was honest with himself, Drift was easily just as attractive like this. He wasn't as obviously disheveled to the average human eye, of course, but Terra could definitely tell he was enjoying himself, even if he hadn't been feeling every ounce of Drift's pleasure.

Terra leaned down, bringing their lips together once again. With all of the heat and excitement rushing between them, it ended up being little more than a sloppy exchange of breaths, but it still felt wonderful to have Drift panting against his mouth.

He wanted to tell Drift just _how_ gorgeous he was, but all that came out was a groan as another wave of heat washed over him. Terra found that he could do little more than cling tighter to Drift's frame as the pleasure between them burned hotter, brighter, spark and heart eagerly twisting together.

All of this buildup was clearly leading to something. Terra just couldn't tell... what, exactly. It was so close that Terra could nearly taste it, though it seemed to be just out of his grasp.

"Drift..." he mumbled, not entirely sure what he should say to get the picture across. He leaned down, resting his forehead against Drift's, gazing into those brilliant optics in hopes that he would understand.

Drift's optics were all but whited out now, his brows furrowed in determination as they stumbled closer to the edge. He nodded, moving his hand to hold onto one of Terra's.

"Me too," he said. His voice was barely audible over his roaring fans, and he somehow held Terra tighter as they climbed the peak together. "Terra, I..."

The pressure that had built between them suddenly grew tighter, making the next few seconds drag out into what felt like an eternity. Terra held his breath, and he could feel Drift's engine stall beneath him in anticipation.

"I love you," Drift breathed, lips brushing against Terra's.

The words weren't loud enough for Terra to actually hear, but he knew them all the same. He could feel them brushing against his lips, meshing eagerly with his heart, and slicing through the tension with ease.

White-hot pleasure crested between them, and Terra was thrown over the edge with a shout, tugging Drift right along with him.

He held on for dear life as his climax ripped through him, so much more _intense_ than what he was used to. His body responded much in the same way as it always did, but then Terra realized there was somehow even more at play here - thanks to the nature of the merge, he was also getting a taste of Drift's overload.

He felt the tingle of charge zipping through Drift, the strain of his engine being pushed to its limit, and the gush of lubricant from somewhere between his legs, all of it ramping up what was already a very visceral release. Drift was right there with him when the realization hit, choking out a moan as the sensations bled together.

Luckily, the more physical aspect ebbed off before either of them could get too overwhelmed. The spiritual aspect, on the other hand, had them squirming against each other, their connection in the merge almost oversensitive by this point.

Terra tucked his face against Drift's, pushing as much love and warmth as he could muster over to Drift. It probably wouldn't do much to ease the intensity, but he hoped it might soften the edges and bring some level of comfort to his partner.

A sharp whine rose from Drift's chassis as he he echoed the feeling back. A final burst of heat enveloped them both, heart and spark meshing closer and closer together until it was impossible to tell the two apart anymore.

And then, in an instant, it was over.

After all that buildup, Terra was expecting a harsh plunge back to reality, but there was none. Instead, he and Drift took a gentle detour, a sense of weightlessness settling over them and slowly bringing them back to the present.

One by one, the quivering tendrils of Drift's spark began to let go of Terra's heart. It almost hurt to feel the bond being severed, as he'd already grown so accustomed to Drift's presence, but he knew that it would have to end eventually.

As they disconnected from one another, Terra found he could do little more than lay there and catch his breath. He wanted to move, to get out of the position he'd been in for who knows _how_ long, but his whole body felt like it was made out of jelly.

Drift wasn't faring much better, lying eerily quiet and still beneath him. Terra didn't think much of it - he kind of figured Drift was tired and had just blown out his voicebox again.

It took him a few minutes to actually move, but when Terra finally managed to sit up and open his eyes, he was surprised to find that Drift was so quiet and still because he'd literally passed out.

If not for the feeling of his spark still twisting between them, Terra probably would have been worried that there was a more serious problem. Drift was utterly motionless, those gorgeous optics offlined and his frame mostly silent, save for the quiet pings of metal as he cooled off.

As it was, Terra had seen Drift in recharge a few times before, making the initial sight a lot less terrifying than it could have been. The very faint hum of his innermost components attempting to restart helped as well, growing louder with every second that ticked by. 

One by one, Drift's systems booted online again - fans began to blare, limbs began to twitch, and then finally, his optics onlined, recalibrating as they attempted to focus on Terra's face.

Terra swallowed hard when their eyes met, his heart leaping in his chest as Drift slowly regained his bearings.

He'd watched Drift wake up before - usually in his holoform, but he'd seen him stirring from recharge a few times as well. That level of intimacy was indescribable, and he wouldn't trade it for anything, but it wasn't a new experience by any means.

And yet, this time, it felt... different.

Perhaps he was in some sort of afterglow from the merge, but he swore Drift was so much more _stunning_ in this moment than he'd ever been. He looked just as lovely as always, of course, but something about being here with him right now made Terra's heart sing like never before.

Suddenly feeling foolish, Terra shook the sentimental thoughts from his head. He sat up a little, rolling off of Drift's frame to lay next to him instead. He groaned quietly as the knots in his back finally started to loosen, bringing much-needed relief to his muscles.

Once Terra was out of the way, Drift took the opportunity to close his chestplates, sealing his spark away with a soft _click._

After a few minutes, Drift turned his helm to face Terra, blinking at him a few times. He gingerly rolled onto his side, brows furrowing and one shaky servo reaching toward Terra's face to cup his cheek. 

Drift opened his mouth, letting loose a staticky blurb of binary that surprised them both. 

Terra tried to fight back his laugh, he really did. But then energon rushed to Drift's cheeks, his face scrunching into a self conscious frown, and Terra chuckled anyway.

"You're so cute," Terra said. His voice was much rougher than usual, making the compliment a little less affectionate sounding, but he meant every word.

Drift rolled his optics, flushing brighter and spitting out another unintelligible sound. He fixed Terra with a more serious look, thumb running over his damp cheek with purpose.

It was Terra's turn to blush when he realized that he'd apparently shed a few more tears at some point - which was what his boyfriend was probably trying to ask him about.

Indeed, Drift cleared his vocalizer, brows pinching together with worry, and he tried to speak again.

"Are you okay?"

Terra nodded, tilting his head to lay a kiss against Drift's palm. "I'm more than okay," he reassured him with a small smile. "How about you?"

Drift's optics widened when his question was turned back on him. "I... Yeah, I'm okay," he said. "That was..."

A long pause followed his words as he struggled to find a description that could possibly fit. He looked at Terra with a nervous smile, shrugging helplessly.

"Yeah," Terra agreed with a small smile. "It was... interesting."

Drift hummed thoughtfully, giving Terra a curious look. "Do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?" he asked, voice tinged with interest.

Terra chuckled, the answer coming to him easily. "Good, definitely good," he clarified. "Did you enjoy it?"

Drift sighed softly. "Honestly, I had kind of... already accepted that it wasn't something we could do," he admitted. "Which is fine. You give me everything I could ever need, Terra. But..."

His optics softened as they moved across Terra's face, lipplates curling into a small smile. "That was... wonderful. More than I could have ever dreamed of," he said, leaning forward to kiss Terra gently. "Thank you."

Terra's heart fluttered in his chest at the words, his own smile widening. "Of course," he said. "Being able to feel you like that, and... letting you see just how much I love you? The pleasure was all mine."

He rolled over onto his side to face Drift a little more easily, cringing a little when he felt how his clothes were clinging to him. "Though... maybe next time I ought to take my clothes off first."

Drift flushed lightly, brows furrowing in confusion. "N-next time?" he echoed softly, watching Terra sit up. 

Terra tugged his sweaty shirt off, tossing it over onto the floor. "Well, yeah. If you wanna do it again, I'm down," he said, glancing over at Drift as he began to shimmy off his stained pants and underwear. "Just... yeah. This is a little uncomfortable."

Whatever Drift was going to say was long gone as he took in the state of Terra's clothes, mouth hanging open in mortification. "I am so sorry!"

His face flushed brightly, the lovely pink tinge of his cheeks matching the large stain that had ended up right over Terra's crotch.

"It's fine," Terra said with a shrug, moving the clothes aside before grinning cheekily at Drift. "I'm glad to know you enjoyed it as much as I did."

One of Drift's fans blared to life at the words. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before flopping onto his back again, his own face twisting in discomfort.

Terra's eyes wandered down Drift's frame, settling on the panels between his legs. The outer plating was just as vibrantly stained as Terra's clothes had been, the sight making his mouth go dry.

Had he really gotten Drift so worked up?

"Gee, you've got quite the mess over there," Terra pointed out, giving Drift the most innocent look he could manage. He reached over, resting a hand on Drift's inner thigh, almost smirking at the way the limb twitched in response. "Do you need any help cleaning that up?"

Drift's engine revved eagerly, startling both of them and seemingly answering the question before he could even open his mouth.

But, Drift shook his head. "You do realize you sent me into a hard reboot like, five minutes ago, right?"

"Yeah, I know. And I'll do it again, if you want...?" he offered, though he wasn't sure he'd be able to _actually_ do such a thing right now, what with how his body ached and eyes fought to stay open.

Drift shot him a sheepish grin. "As much as I'd love that, I'm afraid I might end up passing out again halfway through," he admitted. "I'm... kind of exhausted."

Terra nodded in agreement. "That's fine by me. How about we actually get you cleaned up and then call it a night?" he suggested, helping Drift when he started to sit up.

Together, they crawled off of the bed, leaning heavily on each other as they made their way out of the room. Before Drift returned to his normal size, he turned toward Terra, grasping his hands gently.

"But, umm... maybe tomorrow, if you... if you want to..." Drift trailed off, shrugging a shoulder.

Terra grinned, lifting their joined hands so he could kiss Drift's knuckles. "Oh, I'll _definitely_ want to," he said. "I've been wanting to for months - don't you think for a second that waiting until tomorrow is gonna kill the mood for me."

Drift's engine stuttered, and he barked out a surprised laugh. "I... well, that's good to know, I guess," he said, leaving a shaky kiss on Terra's cheeks before pulling away.

He began to change size again, and Terra held on to his servos for as long as he could. Once they were too big, Terra reluctantly let them go, moving back into his room to avoid being stepped on.

"I'll only be a few minutes," Drift promised him before turning away to head to his washracks.

Terra took the few minutes alone to clean himself up a bit as well, then went about changing the sheets. By the time Drift's holoform appeared in the little room, Terra was curled under a fresh set of sheets. He figured he'd be fighting off sleep by now, but for some reason, he just couldn't seem to get comfortable.

It wasn't until Drift crawled under the covers next to him, finding his usual spot curled up against Terra's chest that the exhaustion made itself known. With a happy sigh, he buried his nose into Drift's hair, enjoying the feeling of utmost comfort and tranquility before finally allowing his eyes to slip shut. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, I made Terra cry too. hm


End file.
